MEMORANDUM FROM A CHILD

1. Don't use force with me. It teaches me that power is all that counts. I will respond more readily towards being led.

2. Don't be inconsistent. That confuses me, and makes me try harder to get away with everything I can.

3. Don't make promises that you may not be able to keep. That will discourage my trust in you.

4. Don't fall for my provocations when I say and do things just to upset you. If you do, then I'll try for more such victories.

5. Don't be too upset when I say, "I hate you." I don't mean it but I want you to feel sorry for what you have done to me.

6. Don't make me feel smaller than I am. I will make up for it by behaving like a "big shot."

7. Don't do things for me that I can do for myself. It makes me feel like a baby and I may continue to put you in my service.

8. Don't let my bad habits get me a lot of your attention. It only encourages me to continue them.

9. Don't correct me in front of people. I'll take more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

10. Don't try to discuss my behavior in the heat of a conflict. For some reason my hearing is not very good at this time-my cooperation is even worse.

11. It is fine to take the action required by my behavior, but please let me know why I'm being punished, and that even if you might hate what I did, you don't hate who I am.

12. Don't try to preach to me. You'd be surprised how well I know what's right and wrong.

13. Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins. I have to learn to make mistakes without feeling that I'm no good.

14. Don't nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.

15. Let me know when I have done something that you like. If you let me know how I did it right, that makes it easier for me to please you again. What would your children add, if they were writing you a memorandum?

Source: © Growing Child 2010